


Harry Potter Has Nothing on Alien Kool-Aid

by Waldo



Series: Five Times the Torchwood Team Ended Up with Ferrets [5]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: 5 Times, Animal Transformation, Ferret, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-18
Updated: 2007-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-05 12:30:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldo/pseuds/Waldo





	Harry Potter Has Nothing on Alien Kool-Aid

Ianto met them at the door with a tray of coffee. He'd been surprised to notice that Owen hadn't returned with the rest of the team.

Jack came in, but waved Ianto off when Ianto went for his coat. "Someone get… I don't know one of the lab rat tanks or something."

Gwen giggled and ran off for the aquarium. When she came out and set it on Owen's chair, Jack produced a long, thin, albino ferret from his coat pocket and moved to deposit it in the glass enclosure. It bit him on the hand for his trouble.

"Well, what would you suggest? Let you run free so that Myfanwy thinks we got her a new wind-up toy?" Jack asked it acerbically.

Ianto raised his eyebrow at his boss addressing an animal like it might answer him. But then again, this was the same boss who kept a severed hand in a jar.

The ferret on the other hand had its own idea. It bit Jack hard enough to get him to let go and jumped onto Owen's workstation. After dragging the papers off the keyboard with its teeth it stepped on a function key that pulled up the 'sticky notes' program.

'fox me' it typed.

"Well, it would be a step up," Jack said.

The ferret jumped on the backspace key. 'fix me' it typed this time.

"Going!" Tosh said with a giggle before heading to her station.

"You're going to tell me that that's Owen," Ianto said skeptically.

"He touched something he shouldn't have. Puddle of some sort of green liquid. And poof! Our very own ferret physician." Gwen was having a hard time not finding this all very funny.

Tosh was rotating the bottle on her scanner, inputting the alien text from the label.

'need food' Owen typed.

Ianto looked down at the tray of coffee and biscuits. "I can't imagine this would be any good for you."

Jack swore the ferret pouted.

"I have it!" Tosh shouted from her station. "Duration… The effects will wear off in approximately - uh oh…"

Everyone turned to look at her.

"Unless we're having a problem understanding their units of time … it wears off in about three years." She looked apologetically at Owen.

Jack crossed his arms and appraised the little critter. "Now, about that tank…"


End file.
